Naming Names
Imagine this: You’re sitting at a table at a friend’s house and your friend says to you, “Here, have some fruit,” and presents you with a fruit. You look at the fruit: It’s green, about the size of an adolescent’s fist, and has the shape of — well, it’s difficult to say: it’s sort of oblong, but not quite pear-like, nor football like. And, come to think of it, you’ve never seen a fruit that color of green. But it’s probably a fruit — clearly, it’s a fruit.
Even so, you’re a bit circumspect: “What’s it called?” you say, feeling that if you knew the name, somehow you’d feel much better about eating it.
“I don’t know,” your friend says, “I simply don’t know.”
And there it sits, the mystery fruit, in front of you, green, on a plate. You’re told it has a pit in it, to be careful of the pit. And that it’s not an avocado, nor does it taste like any fruit you’ve had before.
Do you eat the fruit?
The above situation is one I encountered several times on my trip to Taiwan — I ended up eating approximately six fruits I’d never eaten before. In most cases (all but one) Chiennan (the friend who presented me with the fruit) was unable to tell me the name of the fruit in English (he knew it in Mandarin only). This meant that I was often eating Mystery Fruit #4, or whatever you want to call a piece of fruit that doesn’t have a name.
And every time this happened, I was struck by how eager I was to learn the name. I honestly would have felt reassured (or at least much cooler) to be able to say, “Ah-ha! I am eating a _______.” And it nagged at me, first of all because I wanted to know the name, and second of all, because I didn’t think it was especially reasonable to want to know the name: in these situations, the name seemed mostly meaningless.
But, in the end, I decided it both was and wasn’t meaningless, and came up with two reasons:
1. Surely the name doesn’t mean much, especially considering I can actually look at the damn fruit right in front of me. I.e., if I’m trying to figure out what something is, is it more helpful to look at, touch, taste, smell, and eat it, or to just know the name of it?
Quite evidently, knowing the name in and of itself does nothing. For example, during my trip, I was told that one of the strange fruits presented to me was called a wax apple. It was nice information to know, but it was still just a red fruit sitting on my plate and I certainly didn’t have an epiphanic exclamation of: “Yes, of course! A wax apple! Everything makes sense now!”
But the thing is, even though it didn’t help in the most practical of senses, it was nice to know the name. Why? Because I could categorize it, file it away in my brain, and instead of having to think of all its characteristics, I could think “wax apple” and a little thought-picture would come to me.
I think this categorizing and organizing, this desire for a name to everything, is both good and bad. It’s good in the sense that it allows understanding and articulation of ideas: if we didn’t have names for anything, we couldn’t talk at all, and therefore it’s only natural to want to know the name of a new or strange object.
But at the same time, it’s easy to get too caught up in naming, a flaw that I think is decidedly bad — it’s like when you’re a navigator on a road trip and get too caught up in the map and forget to look out the window, the result being that the driver actually figures out where you’re heading, because she’s looking at the signs and landmarks along the road and sees obvious indications of where you are and where to go, whereas you’re stuck with your head in the map, mumbling something like, “I don’t know where we are. Are we on 27th Avenue? Maybe we should take a right on Johnson? I think Johnson might come up soon if we’re going north… hmm…” and you’re ignoring the fact that the map (or name) is just a description of what’s actually out the window.
A similar situation can take place before eating a wax apple, a situation in which the concept of a wax apple is investigated more than the physical wax apple itself:
“What’s it like?”
“Just eat it.”
“Is it always this color?”
“Yes, it’s right there. Just eat it.”
“Do you think I’ll like it?”
“I don’t know — eat it.”
“Does it taste like any fruit I’ve had before?”
“I don’t know — it tastes like a wax apple.”
“But…”
“It’s not poison — just eat it.”
A brief didactic digression: Curiously, I’ve also noticed that the naming of things can legitimize very strange activities. For example, if you were outside playing jai-alai, and one of your friends came by and had never seen jai-alai before, he’d probably say, “What the hell are those scoops, and what in the hell are you doing?” But if you explained it to him — that it was a game with standard rules, that many people in Latin America play it — he’d probably calm down and be sort of interested in what you were doing, and maybe even sit and watch for a while.
And then, if another friend came by and said, “What in all Jesus is this?”, the first friend, after having been “educated,” might correct the second friend and say, “No, no, it’s cool — it’s jai-alai,” and might even pretend that he himself hadn’t been flabbergasted half-an-hour earlier.
But, whether you have a name for what you’re doing or not, you’re doing the same thing, the only difference being that if you can name the activity, your friends will feel sort of sheepish and silly for not knowing what it was called in the first place, whereas if you have no name for it, you become a freakish person doing a freakish and strange activity.
And that’s my point: a lack of a name can too easily illegitimize things — i.e., everything without a name becomes “not normal” and “wrong,” and this, I think, is a trap too many people fall into.
2. The other reason it may not matter much if I don’t know the name of these Taiwanese fruits is that, even if I do know them, no one in the United States will know what they are anyway. (The reason Chiennan didn’t know the English names was because, when he lived in the U.S., he never saw the fruits, and so never got an opportunity to learn the English name.) So in this way, it’s sort of pointless, because if I were to say, “Oh, I was eating a wax apple,” someone would say, “What? A wax apple?” and then I’d have to explain anyway.
Of course I’d be the first to admit that that’s kind of a crappy reason not to know the name of a fruit. And, besides, my knowing the term “wax apple” has a benefit: if, for some reason, someone comes up to me and breathlessly describes a new fruit they had, how strange it is, what it tasted like, and how it had such a peculiar shape and so on, I can say to them, “It’s a wax apple! They’re pretty good, aren’t they? They’re called wax apples.”
And maybe the other person will say, “Really? A wax apple? …Well, that’s good to know.”
Alex Starace (alex@professoryeti.com) has recovered from jet lag.
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