A Review of Reviews

Being an avid reader and a semi-professional reviewer, I’ve come across myriad reviews on subjects ranging from CDs to restaurants. And while I like to think of myself as unique in many respects, I don’t think I’m alone in my reading of reviews — amongst the intelligentsia of this country (if such a thing could be said to exist), it seems to be a fairly common and even fashionable pastime. Consider that humor magazines like The Onion have large (and earnest) review sections, while hipster e-zines like Pitchfork devote themselves mainly to music reviews. For the more literary crowd there’s The New York Review of Books and Rain Taxi, while for low-brow types there’s the reviews on Amazon.com and IMDB, as well as hundreds of theme-based websites devoted to doing nothing but giving a yea or nay to albums, books, and movies within a particular genre. Throw in local newspapers and weeklies, along with consumer-based websites like RateMyProfessor.com and it seems pretty clear that there’s an entire industry devoted to churning out ratings and opinions. Perhaps most astoundingly, there are many, many more reviews than viable objects of art: almost any published book of decent quality will have more than two reviews written on it, while a book written by somebody like John Updike or Toni Morrison will be reviewed at least twenty or thirty times, many more if you include amateur reviews.

For example, Updike’s Rabbit, Run was reviewed by eighty customers on Amazon.com alone. Such a large amount of amateur reviews is instructive: thanks to blogs, interactive websites, message boards, and personal websites, reviewing itself has become a pastime of the people. With the opportunity to cheaply and easily (and free of an editor) publish one’s opinions online, anyone and everyone is clamoring to do just that, leading to a saturated market of reviews written by “regular people” wishing to make their voices heard. But the mere fact that hundreds of regular Joes are writing reviews does not mean that these regular Joes are writing good reviews — while there are a fair number of intelligent, thoughtful moonlighters, there are just as many screeching and barely-coherent scribblers. And considering that writing a good review is actually quite difficult, the question arises: What makes for a good review? Or, perhaps more appropriately, What makes for a bad review?

Among the many pitfalls possible, two major ones come to mind, the first of which is this: reviews are infamous for their overuse of already-overused adjectives. How many books have been touted as “masterly”? How many movies as “stunningly brilliant”? And how many CDs as “innovative”? As Ben Yagoda says in his essay The Adjective — So Ludic, So Minatory, So Twee, “I believe that a resourceful and creative use of adjectives is one of the most important, if not the most important, marks of a first-rate essayist or critic. It is an indication of originality, wit, observation — indeed, the cast and quality of the writer’s mind.” Very true, and for the mediocre reviewer, words like “thrilling,” “original,” and “exciting” become nothing more than ciphers — place holders that reveal the reviewer as mostly inarticulate. As a friend of mine, John Neely, has noted in an email interview: “It bugs me when a review doesn’t really give a good description. This is especially bad with music reviews, where so many labels of mini-genres get tossed around, as if applying a cute name is sufficient to describe the way the music sounds.” It’s a problem that transcends any particular type of review: calling a CD “Psychedelic Indie-Punk” is just as useless as calling the latest blockbuster movie “A surprising thrill-ride!” or as calling the latest literary fiction “Deep, meditative . . . disturbingly intelligent.”1

The second most common pitfall among reviewers is an inflated sense of importance — the feeling that people are inherently interested them, rather than the subject of review. For example, Mike Mitchelson, writing for Demorama, says in his review of Popcycle (a band):

I listened to this three times to try to figure out what to say without sounding too gushy. The one thing a reviewer of music finds is that there are too many bands that, in their quest for a unique sound, end up settling on a gimmick. And a reviewer of music gets very bored listening to all that endless garbage that really begins to sound terrifyingly similar, particularly in the “alternative rock” genre. The reviewer of music thinks, ‘Why do I do this? Why don’t I just go to the shelf, pull out a David Byrne, an R.E.M., an Everclear, somebody, ANYBODY that’s established, proven and not offensive to my ears?

Because we music reviewers have convinced ourselves that we’d be missing out. We’re terrified of not keeping at least one toe in the pool of pop culture, even as we push into our thirties and want to stab the next tattooed, pierced, surly, twenty-something nocturnalite in the eye with a fork.

It takes a band like Popcycle to inject some feeling of hope in a cynical reviewer. I say “thank-you” to them. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Popcycle made me think of Billy Bragg and Grapes of Wrath without feeling like I’d rather be listening to them. They took chances with some more complex arrangements and harmonies and succeeded. The highest compliment I can give is that their CD will be the first from the pile I’ve reviewed for Demorama to be placed among my alphabetized “active” collection, right between Pogues and Portishead.

While there’s a modicum of insight in his rant, the section quoted above is the entire review and gives precious little description of the band or the album — unless the reader knows Mr. Mitchelson personally and trusts that his taste is similar to hers, she is left clueless as to whether or not she wants to buy the album. Such self-involvement is a problem — a fairly ridiculous one, actually — but, surprisingly, not one confined to bad reviewers. In a much subtler, less obnoxious way, many established reviewers seem to assume that their opinion holds for everyone — i.e., they feel the weight of their endorsement is perhaps the most substantial thing they can give when writing a review. Barbara Kingsolver’s blurb on the back of Seth Kanter’s book, Ordinary Wolves, gives an example of this.

Once in a great while a novel comes along that can shiver right down your bones and show you the world was always larger than you knew. This is just such an astonishing book: exotic as a dream, acrid and beautiful and honest as life, it sweeps back the material curtain of human contrivance to reveal what lies panting behind it. A piece of your heart and some longing, I promise, will stay on in that other place forever.

While the blurb does give a fairly evocative description of the psychological underpinnings of Ordinary Wolves, the description lacks context and so the main impression I take away from it is that Barbara Kingsolver really likes the book. (The second-person address is an excuse to talk about herself: the novel shivers down Kingsolver’s bones and presents a world she never knew.) The implication is that since she’s a famous novelist, her taste is somehow omnipotent — if she likes it, we’ll like it. She even goes as far as to “promise” that it will leave a lasting impression on us, a sure sign that she doesn’t want to do the work of helping us determine for ourselves if we’ll like the book.

Admittedly, Kingsolver’s egotism is not egregious and there are many other reviewing pitfalls I’ve not touched upon that are much worse 2, but her imperious sense of recommendation does bring up a second question: Why do people read reviews in the first place? Certainly not because they want the reviewer to instruct them how they should feel about a certain book, movie, or CD. Readers almost always have other motives and this is perhaps why it’s so obnoxious when reviewers assume that a sheer, unvarnished judgment is the most important aspect of the review.

I’ll use myself as an example of what I believe to be a somewhat typical review-reading experience: this morning, I stopped in a bookstore and picked up a copy of Rain Taxi. Glancing at it as I walked down the street, I noticed it had a review of Edward Said’s latest book. This pleased me: I’d recently read and enjoyed Orientalism and was glad for the opportunity to look over a review of another of his books, even though I knew quite well I would never actually read Said’s latest effort.3 When I got home, I sat down with the review of Humanism and Democratic Criticism and got quite a bit out of it. On the most basic level, I learned that Said had died in 2003 — this, in itself, was worth knowing. But even more important, the reviewer, Len Edgerly, was very knowledgeable of Said’s career and upbringing (whereas I was not) and so he incorporated this information into his review, writing a five-hundred-word essay about why this book is important, how it fits into Said’s body of work, and how it’s a result of his social-historical surroundings. He gave a very good sense of what the book is about and gave ample quotes from Humanism and Democratic Criticism, as well as one from Said’s memoir, Out of Place. Simply put, it was a bitchingly good review, and among my favorite types — the type that’s its own artistic creation and has something to say beyond just describing the book. It was a lesson, an explication of a small idea, and so I learned a quite a bit, both from Said (via the excerpts of his book) and from Edgerly, whose conception of Said’s career and portrayal of contemporary humanism was well-informed and thought-provoking.

That was why I read the review — to learn something, not because I wanted to read the book in the near future. In another example, a friend of mine reads reviews of novels for similarly individualized reasons. He’s in the process of writing a novel and he likes to see what other novelists are up to in terms of how they construct their plots, what they choose for themes, and how they stylize their writing. But he doesn’t have time to read fifteen novels a month, so he enjoys reading the reviews to get a panoramic glimpse of what’s going on. It’s perfectly reasonable and in no way involves imminent purchase.

And even in cases where imminent purchase is involved, a forceful judgment isn’t always appreciated, nor are reviews always consulted. For example, when I know I’m going to watch a movie, I never want to read reviews of it. I want to go into it knowing as little as possible, so that I can experience it unfiltered and form my own opinions of it. Case in point: a new Woody Allen movie entitled Melinda and Melinda just came out and, from the poster, it looks like something I would enjoy, particularly because I find Allen to be intriguingly peculiar and I have a friend named Melinda. Therefore, I decided I probably wanted to see the movie, but, just to make certain (I knew nothing about the movie, other than what I saw on the poster), I got online and checked the review of it on The New York Times. After about a paragraph and a half of reading, it became obvious to me that I really did want to see the movie, so I stopped reading and tried to forget as much of what I’d read as I could.

It’s for exactly this reason that I appreciate The New York Times reviewers — early in their reviews, they give a good sense of what a movie is like and whether a given person will like it. Instead of boldly proclaiming “It’s fantastic! Everyone will love it!” or “Unbearable crap!” they understand that different people like different types of movies. Since they know an overarching proclamation is not especially helpful, they approach each movie with even-handed-ness and sophistication, simply describing whether a movie is successful at achieving its aims. The result is quite useful: even if a The New York Times reviewer doesn’t like action movies, he won’t condemn every action movie he sees. Instead he’ll consider it for what it is, and explain to people who do like action movies whether or not he thinks they’ll like it.

And it’s this that I think is the primary goal of a basic good review, even if the reader has no intention of partaking in the object being reviewed: Does it give you a sense of whether you’d want to watch it, listen to it, or read it? Is it written with the reader in mind, with the intention of shedding light upon the subject being reviewed? If this is the goal, and it’s achieved, then it’s most likely a good review.

Perhaps it’s a self-evident conclusion, but considering how many reviews fall short of this plateau, it certainly seems worth stating the obvious.

Alex Starace (alex@professoryeti.com) finds the movie reviewers for the Wall Street Journal to be hysterically funny.


1. It’s worth noting that adjectives can be ruined from overuse in many contexts. Take for example the most recent presidential election, where the word “nuanced” was used so often by Kerry and mocked so frequently by Bush that it’s difficult to use it in an earnest manner — it connotes too much of the general hoopla and derision of the 2004 election.

And then there’s the adjective “dubious,” which has been used in a semi-ironic, knowingly-hip way by overeducated twenty-somethings for the past year or two. But it’s been used so much that it’s no longer cool or funny to say “He was of dubious intelligence,” or “I’d say that’s fairly dubious.”

And finally, there’s “urgency,” a word (admittedly not an adjective) that’s currently so pervasive in sports jargon that if some color-man on television says, “The Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers need to play with a sense of urgency,” it’s rather blasé because if you change the channel, you’ll hear that the Detroit Lions need to play with a sense of urgency, and if you change the channel again, you’ll here the same about the Minnesota Golden Gophers, and you’ll be left wondering what was said before this turn of phrase was coined and then grossly overused.

Frustratingly, all the above words were perfectly good (even superior) choices when they were initially deployed. Perhaps that was their downfall: because they were such good descriptors, they were used to death, rendering them mundane and clichéd.


2. Some examples of other pitfalls: the annoying dichotomy-unified-in-this-wonderful-piece-of-art school of reviewing (see: “exotic as a dream . . . honest as life”); the urge to have endless and aimless description of plot when reviewing novels; those distastefully unhelpful reviews such as Ebert and Roeper’s thumbs-up/thumbs-down system.


3. I already have a stack of seven to-be-read books, and, if given half-an-hour, I’m sure I could come up with a list of a hundred more that I’d really want to read; reading every book I should read simply isn’t possible — it had taken me four years to getting around to Nabokov, and I had really wanted to read him all that time.

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