Melancholy Music
You want to be a successful artist, playwright or musician? Make ’em cry.
In the arts, tragedy sells. Comedy, that’s fun sometimes, but to really inspire passions, to stir the souls of the public and, more important, to pique the interest of those willing to give artists money for their art, you go with melodrama, death, catastrophe and horror.
“Guernica.” Not a happy painting, but perhaps Picasso’s most famous and cherished work. Munch’s “The Scream.” Responsible for 15 million Zoloft prescriptions each year. Titanic. One of the most popular films of the past generation, even though everybody knew the ending: Iceberg crunches ship, pretty much everyone dies. Hamlet. Death and mayhem, now playing at fourteen community theater companies near you. Romeo and Juliet. Ditto.
Etc. Ad infinitum, ad nauseam and so on. Tears sell tickets; pain yields profits.
Of course, there are various levels of sadness, not all of them involving death. In music, for example, there is a clear delineation between the tragic and the truly depressing, the latter tending not to sell especially well. Let’s face it: you can boogie to B.B. King wailin’ about how his woman done him wrong, but the only possible reaction to Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” is to sit down and stare at the carpet.
Personally, tragic and depressing just aren’t my thing. I prefer to avoid angst-filled music and movies bent on filling me with gloom. I haven’t seen Titanic. Million Dollar Baby made me queasy, not teary. But I’m still prone to shelling out my hard-earned cash for things that make me cry. Basically, I’m a sentimental sucker — anything that is sad in a sappy way has some odd appeal to me. One of my favorite movies of the past few years is a cliché-fest called In America. The plot, basically, is: poor Irish family comes to the United States (circa 2003), struggles through various hardships, but manages to stick together and love each other very much. It’s a bit more complex than that, but the movie is essentially an exercise in sentimentality. I knew the director was manipulating my emotions. I cried anyway. And I loved the movie. Same thing with Field of Dreams. The father and son playing catch sets me bawling like no other scene ever committed to celluloid.
The songs that make me cry are similarly sappy. No one dies. Some of them are actually happy songs, but happy in a sentimental manner — some might say cloyingly so. None are particularly upbeat, in tone or in tempo, and I think that’s the key to drawing tears from my eyes — not the message in and of itself, but the combined effect of slow, lamenting melodies and wistful, world-weary lyrics. Here, then, is the list. It undoubtedly reveals something mushy and, yes, sentimental about me. Whatever. I’m a Sensitive New Age Guy, OK? Or something.
“What Wonderful World.” This is the one song that gets me every time, particularly the version sung by Louis Armstrong. Just hearing it in my head makes the tear glands tingle. Gorgeous melody — jazzy yet mournful, slow, smooth, hypnotic. Satchmo’s friendly rasp sounds as though it contains the emotions and wisdom of the world, the voice of God, reassuring us that, what with all the friends shaking hands, saying “How do you do,” and the trees of green, red roses, too . . . well, it’s a wonderful world. By the time you get to the babies crying, I’m pretty much bawling myself.
“Somewhere,” from West Side Story. Part of the emotional pull of this song comes from having been in a production of West Side Story in high school (I was a Jet). I’ve been there, singing it, feeling it, believing (OK, acting like I believed) that, as the song goes, “there’s a place for us . . . ” And then, of course, at the end of the musical, the protagonists die, meaning that the place for them is, apparently, not some little house on a quiet street but, shall we say, not in this world. So when you’re sitting on stage, in character, you’re thinking, “Yes, indeed, somewhere, there’s a place, a better place, away from this hard knock life, a place where petty disputes are nonexistent, or at least not resolved with switchblades.” But the part of you that’s not in character is thinking, “They’re gonna die! Stop singing about how life is going to get better, ’cause you’re gonna die!” And it’s tragic and sad and depressing. And damn but Bernstein knew how to manipulate your emotions and ratchet up the melodrama with a few minor chords and some soaring, long-held notes.
“Unforgettable,” “Someone to Watch Over Me,” “The Way You Wear Your Hat.” All of these are love songs, but not of the happy-go-lucky, “ain’t it grand, I’m in love” variety. They may celebrate the pleasures of being in love, but the overarching tone in each case is subdued and melancholy, slow and sappy.
“Unforgettable,” like “What a Wonderful World,” is actually a happy song, but the phrasing, both lyrically and musically, makes the overall effect rather somber. It’s the sort of song that a particularly romantic person would sing while just before offering a marriage proposal, with an uncomplicated, unhurried tune, and lyrics that offer a humble assessment of oneself and the ultimate compliment to one’s beloved: “That’s why, darlin’, it’s incredible / that someone so . . . unforgettable / thinks that I am / unforgettable, too.”
“Someone to Watch Over Me,” on the other hand, is a song that, in terms of being in a relationship, precedes “Unforgettable” — in the former, you’re searching, in the latter, you’ve found. The music’s nice — more slow jazz — but here, it’s the lyrics, with their daggers of heartbreak, that makes me whimper. Let’s take this example: “Though he may not be the guy some girls think of as handsome / to my heart, he’ll carry the key. / Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed / follow my lead / oh how I need / someone to watch over me.” See? Tragic. She doesn’t really know the guy, she doesn’t think he’s particularly attractive, apparently, but she desperately wants to be with him. And it seems that he hasn’t even noticed her — “tell him please,” in other words, to hurry up and fall in love.
Then, at the other end of the relationship, the parting ways end, comes “The Way You Wear Your Hat.” More Gershwin, just like “Someone To Watch Over Me.” More downbeat, catchy melodies, this one with a bit more rhythmic life than its pre-relationship counterpart. And more dejecting lyrics, starting right from the beginning: “Our romance won’t end on a sorrowful note, though by tomorrow you’re gone.” So. Romance ending. That sounds pretty sorrowful in and of itself, if you ask me. Of course, no one remembers that part of the song; most people only know the later, mildly more upbeat portion: “The way you wear your hat / the way you sip your tea / the memory of all that / no, they can’t take that away from me.” And, sure, it’s nice to hear someone toasting a soon-to-be-former lover in such a way, reminiscing about the good times. But again, the message is: Our romance is ending. Let’s try to be happy in spite of the fact that life sucks. To me, that’s a lot sadder than the Edmund Fitzgerald sinking or Billy Joe MacAllister jumping off the Tallahatchie Bridge (kudos to those who understand both of those musical references).
Finally, there’s a song whose mood-dampening properties I simply cannot figure out. It doesn’t have that warm-fuzzy-so-happy-it’s-sad quality of “What a Wonderful World,” but it also lacks the depressing lyrical force or somber melody of the other songs on this list. There’s no personal emotional attachment. And yet after a few bars, I have to pull out the hanky and dab my eyes.
It’s a traditional Irish song called “The Parting Glass.” Thematically, it’s an ode to friends, good times and, most of all, last call, with three verses, each ending with “Goodnight and joy be with you all”; musically, it’s slow but not funereally so. It is, however, a quiet tune, built around a relatively small range of notes, which creates the sensation that it is being spoken, with great care, and only to you. And, if you are a sentimental and over-imaginative person, like me, and especially if (also like me) you have at least some minor claim to the Irish diaspora, it’s easy to stretch this conversational, folksy quality into a fantasy of sorts: You’re sitting in a pub in County Mayo, listening to long-lost relatives regale you, in lilting brogue, with tales of the good life in the Old Country. A fiddler plays in the corner. And then, as the night wears on and the conversation winds down, you decide to head back to the inn for some sleep. As you rise to leave, Seamus, your third cousin twice removed, leans a bit closer to you, ready to impart some final wisdom. He pauses to take a sip from his pint, and then looks at you with a gleam in his eye and starts singing softly.
The only song, the only words, that I would expect to hear, would be “The Parting Glass.” It’s a song that, upon hearing it, puts me in another time, or at least another place. It makes me nostalgic for something I’ve never experienced, sentimental for something I probably never will. But as I raise that imagined parting glass, absurd though it may sound, a tear, inevitably, rolls down my cheek.
Doug Mack (doug@professoryeti.com) sometimes cries at weddings, too.
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