Four Fives

Five Things That Stick to Other Things

  1. Tongue, to frozen pole
  2. Post-It Note, to wall
  3. Gorilla Glue, to anything, supposedly
  4. Wet shirt, to back
  5. Peanut butter, to the roof of your mouth

Five Places to Get Pierced (Price As Listed at Saint Sabrina’s Parlor in Purgatory)

  1. Clitoral hood ($45.00)
  2. Ear ($12.00 per, $20.00 for both)
  3. Nasal Septum ($35.00)
  4. Scrotum ($35.00)
  5. Bellybutton ($25.00)

Five Causes of An Uncomfortable Silence

  1. Revelation of bizarre sexuality
  2. Uncalled-for insult shocks entire group
  3. Someone’s being embarrassingly self-conscious
  4. Your significant other accidentally blurts out, “Let’s break-up!”
  5. Really really bad news comes over the radio

Five Adjectives Used to Describe Governments

  1. Totalitarian
  2. Democratic
  3. Theocratic
  4. Monarchic
  5. Goddamn Lousy!

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