Five Things That Stick to Other Things
- Tongue, to frozen pole
- Post-It Note, to wall
- Gorilla Glue, to anything, supposedly
- Wet shirt, to back
- Peanut butter, to the roof of your mouth
Five Places to Get Pierced (Price As Listed at Saint Sabrina’s Parlor in Purgatory)
- Clitoral hood ($45.00)
- Ear ($12.00 per, $20.00 for both)
- Nasal Septum ($35.00)
- Scrotum ($35.00)
- Bellybutton ($25.00)
Five Causes of An Uncomfortable Silence
- Revelation of bizarre sexuality
- Uncalled-for insult shocks entire group
- Someone’s being embarrassingly self-conscious
- Your significant other accidentally blurts out, “Let’s break-up!”
- Really really bad news comes over the radio
Five Adjectives Used to Describe Governments
- Totalitarian
- Democratic
- Theocratic
- Monarchic
- Goddamn Lousy!
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