Review of Living: Childhood vs. Adulthood

On rare occasion, I think to myself, “Man, if I knew what I knew now, and I were seventeen again, I could totally kick ass.” But then I realize that I’d have to go to high school with a bunch of seventeen-year-olds — again! — and this would completely negate any pleasure I might get from the do-over. Nostalgia conveniently glosses over all of this, which is nice, but can get out of hand — things weren’t that good and after a point it becomes harmful to believe they were. But, one must be careful not to swing into the opposite camp, just remembering the past as a series of horrible, unbearable events that were only saved by the present. In short, fairness and foresight are needed to judge childhood and adulthood and determine a true winner!

Was life really better as an eight-year-old than it is as a thirty-two year old? Would a ten-year-old who wants to be a paleontologist really enjoy being a paleontologist? Would a fifty-five year old man enjoy playing in a sandbox and throwing half-melted popsicles at his little sister? These are questions that have plagued amateur scientists and half-cretins for decades and that deserve an answer — someone needs to lay these issues to rest!

Fortunately, I’m a competent referee. You see, as a twenty-four year old, I’m mostly an adult, but not quite a full-fledged adult: I have a job, but not a “real” job; I pay my rent, but I don’t have a mortgage; I’m unmarried and have no plans to marry in the near future; I’m not quite finished with my schooling — I still have to go to graduate school! So I am an adult, but more of an “adult light” than anything else. Therefore, I have no especially strong affiliation to adulthood, nor (except on occasion) do I get an unseemly craving for a return to childhood. I’m about as impartial as it gets — I’m half and half.

In order to do this properly, I’ve divided life into several categories — social life, home life, intellectual life, obligations, and fun — and will analyze each from the perspectives of childhood1 and adulthood, pointing out both the good and bad aspects. Then I’ll provide a conclusion, summing up the results of my study and considering what I’ve learned. Let the analyzing begin!

Social Life

As a kid, you know about thirty different people (adults and kids included), and you have about six friends and you spend hours upon hours with those friends. The positive aspects are: if you like these friends, your life is rich, thrilling, and wonderful. You can play hide-and-seek in elysian fields of clover, drink fresh-squeezed lemonade when you get home, and then play an ever-so-sophisticated game of house. But woe is you if Billy-the-neighbor-boy has a penchant for maiming small mammals, or if Cindy from playgroup says, “That’s not fair!” quite literally every ten minutes.

Of course, as a child, you don’t have a choice — you have to hang out with whomever is also your age — and, furthermore, most of your peers are, by turns, perfect little angels, and then, without warning, incorrigible little brats. Only as a kid can you scream at your best friend, pee your pants, and accidentally destroy your second-best-friend’s favorite stuffed frog, and then have it all forgiven and forgotten within twenty-four hours.

In contrast, as an adult, friendships take on extra meaning: you like certain people because they fit into certain categories of your life, or because they you want something from them. There are rules and procedures to all your interactions and if you don’t follow them closely, your life (social and otherwise) can take a significant downturn. For example, you’d never talk literature with Fred from your bowling team, and you’d never, never bowl with Sarah, who’s recommending you for a better position in your company. Furthermore, as an adult, you know literally hundreds of people. You have your co-workers, teammates on your softball team, your friends from college, your friends from your old job, your acquaintances in the neighborhood, etc. You like many of these people, but you don’t often spend time with them — and if you do, it’s only for a few hours on the weekends. It’s not that you’re avoiding people, it’s just that somehow other things get in the way and there’s not that much to do with them anyway, aside from going out to eat or to the bar.

Final Analysis: Being a kid’s easier, more surprising and more exciting. Being an adult can be much more pleasant and calmer, but it’s not always easy to follow all the social rules, and even if you do, there’re inevitably a few jackasses to deal with. Childhood wins by a nose!

Home Life

As a kid, you rarely have chores, you don’t know what “mortgage” means, you never have to worry about making dinner, and, until you reach adolescence, it’s relatively easy to get along with your parents. You can make a mess, be obnoxious, and forget to flush the toilet, and, in the long run, it doesn’t matter much — you just go up to your room and read comics anyway. Sure, you have to go to bed at a certain time, and you can’t eat a million cookies, and maybe you can’t watch all the movies you’d like, but, considering the immaturity of your brain, the small sacrifice in liberty is well compensated for by the tremendous amount of security and ease you receive.

As an adult, home life can be a mixed bag. You’re set in your ways, maybe you get along with people you live with, maybe you don’t. Also, since you have goals and aims — paying the mortgage, getting a promotion, finding free time to garden, keeping the house clean, etc — it’s more difficult to be carefree: if your child spills Kool-Aid on the carpet, that means less time to garden; if your spouse wants you to go to a movie you don’t want to see, it means you’ll never get around to seeing “your” movie; if your roommate loses his job, it means you guys might not make rent.

Final Analysis: In fairness, because it’s much more complex, home life as an adult has a chance for much greater rewards than childhood home life and can be quite satisfying, but it does require much, much more maintenance . . . too much maintenance, in fact. Childhood wins!

Intellectual Life

Kids are still in the stage where dinosaurs are fashionable, and the idea of light-years is something to ooh and ahh about. It’s a time of great discovery and awe, but most of the learning is rudimentary and superficial — kids who are into outer space memorize names of stars and distances of planets. They don’t learn Kepler’s laws or study the application of Einstein’s theories. In it’s own way, it’s a fascinating time, and lots of things are neat and cool, but it’s mostly just a building block to larger and greater things — calculus isn’t even until late high school or early college.

On the other hand, adult intellectual life can go three ways: either the adult can choose to not have one whatsoever, the adult can have a pseudo-intellectual life full of pop-sci movies and national bestsellers, or the adult can develop a life full of inquiry. The latter is the sort of thing that can be nursed and developed throughout adulthood and can be quite rewarding, while the first and second options are quite nice as well — if you always hated learning, when you’re an adult, you can finally quit entirely, or, if you’re lazy, you can ratchet it down to a middling level you’re comfortable with.

Final Analysis: In adulthood, everyone’s happy, the choices are much more bountiful, and adults have much more greater foundation of knowledge and reasoning power at their disposal. Adulthood creams childhood!

Obligations

As a child, your obligations are none, none, and, blissfully, none. Or rather, the obligations are so low that they’re extremely easy to meet — they’re grade school obligations such as “don’t hit,” “get in line,” and “be quiet during reading time.” At times such nagging can seem hard to meet, but most adults don’t like enforcing their own rules, so there’s a lot of room for fudging. And even if you get “in trouble,” the consequences are relatively minor — it’s rare that a childhood is destroyed by the constant burden of getting along with one’s siblings or cleaning the bathroom once every other week, whereas it’s quite possible that, as an adult, one’s obligations to job, family, and society can make each day filled with drudgery. Consider: if you dislike your job, that’s five out of seven days a week ruined. When you’re a kid, if you dislike grade school, there’re still summer breaks, and grade school is only seven or so hours a day, including lunch, whereas a real job, when you factor in lunch and the commute, takes at least a nine hour chunk of time. And when you’re an adult, when you get home, you’re not always free of obligation: if want dinner, you have to make it for yourself, you have to pay bills, shovel snow, take out the trash, etc.

On the other hand, as an adult, you do get to choose most of your obligations: you can choose a career, a spouse, a lifestyle, and though no matter what you choose you’ll have more obligations than when you were a child, you’ll also have the opportunity to choose well — there’s a whole lot more potential in adulthood than in childhood.

Final Analysis: The potential of adulthood counts for a lot and few people use this advantage as wisely as they could — if more people used it more wisely, adulthood would win . . . A tie — childhood and adulthood are dead even!

Fun

Fun as a child happens on a nearly daily basis. I’m not talking about pleasure, or relaxation, or a pleasant evening — I’m talking about out and out fun, where you’re laughing a lot and completely let go of everything (even the consciousness that you’re having fun) and let the sensations around and inside of you take control. Such an ability in children is directly due to a lack of experience and an underdeveloped brain — as a child, something like a new video game or a hike in the woods can be stupendous, simply because the experience of it is so original and overpowering to a neophyte.

In contrast, adults are constantly searching for such novelty and when they find it, it’s wonderful, but also relatively rare. Part of the appeal of sky-diving, wind-surfing, and scuba-diving is simply that it’s different, new, exotic — when you first try it out, every facet of it will be amazing. Drinking alcohol has a related appeal: it dulls the senses, relaxes the body, and, if you drink enough, makes everything seem fun and exciting — it’s a respite from the mechanical and mundane cogitations of adulthood.

Final analysis: It can almost be said that adults don’t have fun . . . they have more subtle and sophisticated pleasures. And let’s face it: childhood fun is probably the biggest reason for nostalgia and yearning for the pre-adolescent years . . . Childhood clobbers adulthood!

Final Tally

If you add up the results of my comparison, childhood has three victories, one defeat, and one tie, and so it would seem that childhood would clearly be the superior choice between the two. Not so! I cry. Childhood’s victory is superficial: in many of the cases above, childhood bests adulthood not because it reaches soaring heights, but because, on average, it’s easier to find reasonable satisfaction as a kid than as an adult. Emotions are simpler, pleasures are more basic, and responsibilities and self-awareness are at an all-time low.

Adulthood poses many more challenges, but the rewards can be far greater — for this reason, adulthood comes out the final winner. The self-direction and complexity of adult life can yield much satisfaction and let’s face it: adulthood is one’s chance, the golden opportunity to make something grand of life. It might be relatively easy to mess up, or difficult to find consistent satisfaction, but without the opportunity for self-direction and self-reliance, life eventually becomes bland and even unpalatable.

So why the occasional pang of nostalgia, the yearning for childhood? As a kid, there was a certain amount of pleasure you could extract from drinking an Orange Crush, or listening to a football game on the radio, and this pleasure and excitement was easily found and had. If things went wrong, they rarely had lasting effect — starting over was, quite literally, as easy as waking up the next morning . . . An appealing fantasy that is, as an adult, nothing more than a fantasy.

Alex Starace (alex@professoryeti.com) also reviews art for mnartists.org.


1. Please note that I’m discussing childhood, not adolescence — adolescence is another thing entirely.

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