Music, A Lot of It
“I am a lost soul
I shoot myself with rock & roll
The hole I dig is bottomless
But nothing else can set me free.”
— Guided by Voices
I used to consider myself a pretty balanced, if obsessed, cultural consumer. I watched a lot of movies, read a lot of books, listened to a lot of music, read a lot of periodicals, both magazines and newspapers, surfed the internet. I’d see a play from time to time, hit up a museum or art gallery every once and a while, etc, etc, ad nauseam. Then, four weeks ago I picked up and moved two thousand miles to Seattle, which turned out to be a real eye-opener, or, rather, an ear-opener.
All I’ve wanted to do since arriving is listen to music. I didn’t see a movie for a full month, and this from someone who ran the college film society and completed a concentration in media studies. I’ve picked up a few books but haven’t really been able to read. Most days I leaf, mildly interested, through our copy of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, glancing only in passing at important news events, failing to engage with the world around me. Wandering through the Seattle Center, I glanced at the Space Needle and then quickly headed over to Easy Street Records. I find myself spending hours at MP3 blogs, leaving more important or useful or humorous or well-written resources behind to find my next musical fix, and I don’t mind.
This has happened to me before, but never quite so powerfully. My first move away from home, to college, resulted in a lot of music listening. Badly Drawn Boy’s “The Shining,” with its beautiful strings near the beginning and Damon Gough’s tender whispering voice reminiscing about better days, got me nearly all the way through an ill-advised long-distance quasi-relationship with a girl back home. The next winter, which turned out to be a difficult one for me, was nearly redeemed by Interpol’s Turn On the Bright Lights, specifically the moaning guitars on “NYC” which I recall playing on nearly every radio show for my first couple terms at the college station. Also on the tracklist, and near and dear to my heart, would have been Death Cab for Cutie’s “A Movie-Script Ending” and Pedro the Lion’s “Slow and Steady Wins the Race.”
The following summer, living in an awkward arrangement with people I didn’t know or really get along with, I fell deep under the spell of The Postal Service and later My Morning Jacket, albums two and three. I can still clearly recall the powerful feeling of wishing I could somehow make my home inside the enormous ambience of the title track of At Dawn, wondering if there was a way to physically wrap Jim James’s endlessly reverberating wail around me like a warm coat. Perhaps this is related to a preference I’ve stated from time to time, which I think puts me in the minority, that I’d give up my sight long before my hearing, feeling that sound, and music in particular, connects me to the world in a way sight never can.
You of course noted the epigraph, which touches on a fairly common theme in music and especially interviews with musicians. I think, too, of Jenny whose “life was saved by Rock & Roll” in the appropriately titled third song on Velvet Underground’s Loaded. For myself, and many others I would guess, the moment of realization is at once nearly embarrassing yet also liberating, like that point in a relationship up to which you think you’ve just been having fun, but suddenly realize with butterflies in your stomach and a blush on your face that you’re in love! I’m not planning to wed my record collection any time soon, but personal experience has led me to believe that Bob Pollard and Lou Reed know what they’re talking about when writing such passionate lyrics.
Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention other such old friends as Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska and Modest Mouse’s Lonesome Crowded West from the middle of 2004, or more recent acquaintances like Rex the Dog’s “I Look Into Mid Air” and Sun Kil Moon’s “Glenn Tipton,” to which I was introduced by my fellow erstwhile KRLX DJ, we’ll call her S. Moody, who probably shares similar feelings since she is the world’s biggest Mark Kozelek fan and even played “Glenn Tipton” as a love song (!?!) on a theme show around Valentine’s Day 2005 if I remember correctly.
So, upon my recent relocation, in the absence of routine or familiar faces or places or recognizable weather patterns or most anything I’m accustomed to, I’ve taken to clinging affectionately to my iPod. Unexpectedly hearing a new Sigur Ros song on KEXP struck me as powerfully as would waking up to find the bed covered with an old, beloved blanket lost or forgotten years before. And although catching up with a couple college friends and music lovers afterward helped too, just hearing the exciting young band Wolf Parade enthusiastically tear up the Crocodile Cafe in Belltown, not least their raucously joyous encore version of Guns ‘N Roses’ cover of Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” was as good as divine assurance that everything is going to be all right.
Andy Slabaugh (http://andyslabaugh.blogspot.com/) actually looks forward to the long, damp, dark winter. At least it ain’t Minnesota!
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