The Personal Yoga Studio vs. The Impersonal Mega Gym

I have a muscle! It’s in my leg. I started noticing it about two weeks after I began working out regularly at the gym. It kind of pokes out and you can see it if I flex my thigh. Come to think of it, I think I have one in the other leg, too. It’s so exciting!

I’ve been living in Columbus for about a year now, and at first I didn’t really have much time to exercise. I’ve always been somewhat athletic though, and 6 months of inactivity was making me grumpy. No one likes a grumpy librarian, so I got off my bookish bottom and signed up at a small yoga studio within walking distance of my apartment. I’d passed by several times, but was always wary due to the presence of a pilates machine in the window. Have you seen those things? They look like medieval torture devices. I was somewhat concerned that I would walk in and see someone strung up by their ankles. But I steeled myself and went in. It smelled like sandalwood, and I signed on the dotted line.

By my second class the owner knew my name and would say, “Hello, Rachel” whenever I came in. She was young but motherly. Short and earthy. But alas, I don’t think she thought I was quite ohm-y enough to be there. Not that she was ever rude, but I’m not sufficiently dedicated to aligning my chakras, nor do I own enough products made of tea-tree oil, to have quite fit in. It seemed like most of the practitioners there either wore a lot of hemp or had massive and elaborate tattoos. I think I found them much more interesting than they found me. Many of them also already seemed to know each other from somewhere outside the studio, which made me somewhat of an outsider. And everybody was so in touch with themselves that even the “Warrior Flow” yoga was a bit more like “Good Energy Flow” yoga. I managed to go there regularly for three months to do yoga without the appearance of any major muscles. It was a nice place to go, though. It was personal and small and devoid of soccer moms doing yoga because it’s the next big thing. I was sorry to see the end of my 90 days for 90 dollars special, but to continue would have meant shelling out 175 big ones each month. $175 a month for good vibes but no discernable muscles was not quite the workout I was looking for.

I considered my options. I like yoga for many reasons, one of which is the workout itself. I didn’t feel that I’d gotten into shape after my three months of good vibes, and more than that, I hadn’t felt much change in my body at all. I missed running and weight training, but I am often uncomfortable at large gyms because they are so impersonal. And you’re liable to get pushed off the machine you want to use by the leather-skinned weight-room nazis whom I suspect actually sleep under the weight benches at night. But I didn’t feel as healthy as I wanted to be. I discovered that while I could do a series of vinyasas, I couldn’t do a push-up. I was horrified. I was made of jelly!

Despite my general dislike of large gyms, I decided that I would do a test run and try out California Fitness. There are about 10 of these giants located around Columbus, with plans for more in the works. It is an uber gym, impersonal, huge, and full of men with thighs the size of tree-trunks. There are probably 30 treadmills, 20 stationary bikes, 20 eliptical machines, at least two of every weight machine imaginable, an aerobics studio, and two sections with weight benches and freeweights. Plans for a pool are in the works.

I stopped by one of their locations after work one night. A smooth talking, nice looking, athletically built young man in his 20s took me around on a tour. He asked me what my weight and health goals were. He went over the membership plans, pushing, of course, for the one that required I put the most money down. He tried valiantly, but I opted for the middle and most reasonable option. It’s a slick operation. He was not afraid of flattery. A naïve but otherwise highly intelligent colleague of mine was suckered into their most expensive plan after the representative told her she had nice hair. They even keep your credit card number on file and bill you automatically every month so that you don’t have to think about it. How thoughtful. At the end of the transaction, they give you a plastic bar code that goes on your key ring and is scanned every time you come in.

When I went in to work out for the first time, I set up a free trial appointment with a personal trainer. She took my measurements, went over my goals, and walked me through a sample workout. She also, of course, wanted me to sign up for regular personal training sessions, which I declined. Twice.

But now she knows my name. The representative who signed me up knows my name. Another personal trainer I’ve chatted with calls me “Skittles” because I wear brightly colored workout clothes. They all say hi when I come in or they wave, and they don’t ever ask me to sign up for anything anymore. The workout that the personal trainer gave me is fantastic, and at any time I can ask them to retake my measurements or check my body fat for free to see how much progress I’ve made. There is a perfect spot for stretching that is also equipped with smaller free weights and medicine balls, so I don’t have to lift in the weight room with the big boys. There are so many machines that I never have to wait for anything, and the space is big enough that even when it’s full you don’t feel crowded. And actually, one of the biggest benefits is that there are so many people with so many levels of fitness in there with me: if I don’t fit in with the psychotic worker-outers, no one notices. And even if some people do already know each other, most do not, so unlike at my yoga studio I can’t really be an outsider. There is some power in anonymity, in being a little fish in a big sea.

It is not a personal experience. Yes, there are three employees who know my name, and that’s nice, but there are 20 others who don’t. I am still a barcode, and it’s still a goliath of an operation. But I like it because basically everybody just leaves me alone and I can do my own thing, pleasantly ignorant about how much tea- tree oil anyone owns or whether or not I can bench more or run farther than the next girl. With so many options for workouts I’m not liable to become bored anytime soon, and with the appearance of my newfound muscles, I’m not liable to want to quit. For me, right now, the mega gym is the big winner. I still like the idea of supporting my neighborhood businesses, but I couldn’t get what I needed for a price I could afford, and although sometimes I feel like I’ve sold out, it truly was the right decision for me and what I needed, even though it still freaks me out that they sign me in by scanning my barcode. It’s important to know what your goals are and to give yourself the tools to achieve them — just don’t be intimidated by the Mega Gym, it’s really not that bad.

And actually, I think I’ve got a muscle in my arm now, too.

Rachel Rubin works as a librarian in Columbus, Ohio.

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