Come Again?
Don’t talk down to me, 7-11 guy. You’re so smug behind that counter, all like “Good evening, sir.” You know what? You have a good evening with my foot three feet up your rear end. That’s right, I heard the tone. I know tone. I had a Pakistani co-worker once, and he told me all about the so-called subcontinent tone. Maybe he was Assyrian. Anyway, the point is, he told me all about it. Well, he said something to a friend of mine. We actually didn’t know each other that well, but my friend worked with this Pakistani (or Assyrian, I forget) guy, and she told me all about that so-called subcontinent tone. Indian subcontinent. It’s sarcastic and condescending and I won’t stand for it, 7-11 guy. Even if you’re not Pakistani, or Assyrian, or whatever — don’t play the race card on this one, bub, ‘cause I’m one-twelfth Cherokee. I’m on to you, and this ends here.
And while I’m on the subject, don’t smile like you’re all that. ‘Cause you’re not. You’re a small fraction of “that” if you’re anything. I could do your job, but I don’t want to, so there. So you can’t lord it over me like you’re something, because you’re not something. You’re the opposite of something: nothing. Just because I don’t work doesn’t give you any right to talk down and act like the cat’s meow. Meow? Ha! Cat’s claws is more like it, scratching at the psyche of a poor unemployed customer like myself with your voice, your eyes, your being, your snappy uniform. But not snappy enough to cover your hate, sir. Not snappy enough.
Yes, I’m going to pay for this. No, you come again.
Michael Barker has a thirst for anger. He lives, writes and improvises in Chicago. Think $6.25 is too much to pay for smokes? Let him know at michael@professoryeti.com.
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