A Superhero Named Kirby

Superheroes are supposed to be invincible, but today I learned they are not. Kirby Puckett, centerfielder extraordinaire, number 34 for my hometown heroes, the Minnesota Twins, died today.

Kirby (everyone from Minnesota was on a first-name basis with him) had a stroke yesterday, Sunday, March 5, 2006. I heard about it on the radio, read about it online, and promptly forgot about it. I wasn’t worried. Like Batman or Superman, Kirby was more myth than man, a consummate good guy who could vanquish evil (in his case, the Atlanta Braves of 1991) and who always, always emerged victorious. A stroke? Ha! No problem for a man of such might! He’d recover in no time at all! In fact, it would probably somehow cure his glaucoma, which forced him into retirement in 1996! Forty-five might be a bit old for a comeback, but, hell, it was possible. In fact, I’ve been holding out hope for his triumphant return for the last ten years.

Superheroes aren’t supposed to die, after all; there is always a sequel. I yearned for just one more glimpse of that fire hydrant body chopping the ball down the left-field line or defying gravity to levitate over the center-field wall, yielding a grimace and an obscene exclamation from the foiled slugger who had already begun his home run trot. Just one more game, just one more at-bat, just one more glimpse of the baby-faced man of infectious cheer and textbook swing. Please.

But that won’t happen because Kirby Puckett, number 34, my superhero, died today.

I can’t believe how upset I am. For one thing, I am an adult now, well beyond the age at which true reverence for sports stars is considered acceptable. Kirby’s been out of uniform for ten years now, and his reputation took some major blows a few years back after allegations of sexual assault and infidelity. In the decade since I last saw him play ball, grew up and Kirby became a rather more enigmatic, less charming character than the figure I had idolized.

And yet, even as I realized he was morally fallible, I still thought, somehow, impossibly, that he was indeed physically invincible. I still believed in superheroes until a few hours ago. Now, I’m not quite sure what to believe.


I’m told by certain reliable sources that one day, when I was very young, I declared to the world that I wanted to change my name to Kirby, because that was “a good name for a baseball player.” I was never particularly athletic, so I’m guessing that my logic was that I could become hero-like through association.

This, after all, is the why superheroes matter. They teach us to aspire to the impossible, which, though foolish, is a necessary dream of youth; without it, there is no wonder, there is no real joy, there is no awe. Through superhero-worship, we are vicariously powerful, talented, famous, heroic. Kids need superheroes. They need that reassurance of happy endings, of good triumphing over evil, even in metaphor. Even in such trivial pursuits as a game involving leather spheres and wooden clubs.

In 1991, when I was ten years old, the Twins made it to the World Series. The previous year, they had finished last in their division, so their success was made all the merrier by virtue of being wholly unexpected. The Twins had won the Series four years earlier, in a classic seven-game series against St. Louis, so the Twin Cities felt no particular sense of being owed a championship. But we still believed as much as any diehard member of Red Sox Nation, and we still took pride in our boys, especially Kirby. Here was a short, rather squat young man with a boyish grin, a wicked swing, and an unexpected grace in his patrolling of the outfield. Baryshnikov’s leaps, I promise, could not compare to the grace of Kirby Puckett flying through the air, especially with the game on the line. His most famous flight came in Game 6 of the ’91 Series, when he swept through the air, Peter Pan of the outfield, seemingly hovering just a few inches from the wall, and caught what would very probably otherwise have been an extra-bases, game-winning, series-ending hit.

Kirby was a superhero, you see, and he could control history, as he did that night. He seemed to know that my father and I had tickets to Game 7, and that I and countless other Twins fans desperately wanted just one more game, just one more chance to win the Series. So he caught that ball, because superheroes always give you a happy ending; they always leave the wide-eyed kid thrilled and elated and aware that all is right with the world. And a few innings later, for the same reasons, he smacked a walk-off home run that won the game and forced deciding Game 7. As the ball soared over the fence and the Metrodome erupted in an eardrum-rupturing roar, TV announcer Jack Buck said, “Aaaand we’ll see you tomorrow night!”

The next day was one of the greatest, most memorable of my life. Game 7 of the World Series, for a ten-year-old who adores baseball and believes that superheroes exist, and play baseball, and play for his team, his little ol’ small-market team . . . well, it doesn’t get much better than that. I cannot imagine the heartbreak that would have come if the evil Braves had won; the agony would have been unbearable. But superheroes don’t disappoint, and Kirby and his sidekicks vanquished those no-good Braves in 10 innings, with Jack Morris pitching a complete-game shutout and good ol’ reliable Gene Larkin smacking a fat pitch over the heads of the drawn-in Braves outfield, allowing mullett-headed Dan Gladden to score from third.

But now Kirby Puckett, my superhero, has died. I still have the memories, many of them vivid, all of them wonderful, of watching him on TV and in person. I still have all of his baseball cards — the major brands from every year, as well as a bunch of obscure ones — and a Wheaties box my grandfather had him sign at Spring Training one year, one of my most cherished mementos.

My childhood idol is dead, which I guess means I’m truly no longer a child. I knew that I was not, of course, but I feel that in some odd way, this robs me of some modicum of innocence and wonder. The Twins of yesteryear, and my youth spent watching them, are now officially gone, remaining only as happy but far-off memories, embalmed in nostalgia.

Never again will I hear those magical words, the happiest that could be heard by a ten-year-old in a certain time and place: “Now batting, number 34 . . . Kiiiir-beeeee PUCK-iiiitt!!”

Doug Mack’s second-favorite baseball team is the Cubs. Send 2006 World Series predictions to doug@professoryeti.com.

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